How's your vision?

I haven't posted in a while simply because I had so much to say, and wrapping it up into a small, tidy post simply wasn't possible. Too many words. Too little time. So I said nothing.

But I am back. And I still have lots to say.

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My husband and I attended a family conference/seminar at our church on Saturday about creating the families we want. There were several questions and even "report cards" to 'grade' how we feel we are doing as a spouse, as well as a report card for our spouses. It really makes you think! How often do we stop to think of how we are doing as a husband or wife?

It made us think and talk a lot about how we feel we are doing as husband and wife. After all, parents (and their relationship) are the biggest influence in their children's lives. You'd think that would have been the most thought-provoking (and/or contentious depending on your 'grade'!) but for us, the most intriguing question was simply

"What is your vision for your family?"

Not what you will do, but what will it be.

It really made me start to think about what I want my family to look like (and be) in 5, 10, 20 years. What legacy do we want our family to have for generations to come?

We threw around a few words like "loving", "kind", "compassionate", "fun" (you have to have fun!) but the word we settled on was: intentional.

We want our family to be intentional:

with our time
our finances
our relationships
our words
our hearts

I think everyone wants or thinks their family is intentional. I like to think that I try to be intentional, but I realized this weekend, in those moments of frustration when I raise my voice with my kids - I'm not being intentional. I'm letting frustration dictate my actions. How can I be more intentional as a mom?

I want to be a good wife to my husband, but do I give him the intentional time and attention he deserves each day, or do we have an exhausted conversation at the end of the day before we both crawl into bed and pass out for a few hours of sleep before we start the same routine the next day? How can I be more intentional as a wife, friend and lover to my husband?

I want to be a good friend, but when life gets crazy and I forget a birthday or simply don't make the time to spend with them, or pay attention to them, I'm not being a very good friend or intentional. (I wasn't a very good friend in 2010.) How can I be more intentional with my friendships and relationships?

I want to be intentional and a good steward of our finances. Is buying my kids toys they don't really need, but want, being intentional with our finances? Is getting that pedicure being intentional? What does being intentional with our finances mean and what does it look like?

I want to be intentional with my time, but is flopping down onto the couch after a long day and turning on the t.v. (for a little escapism and mindlessness) intentional? Is reading blogs in the middle of the day being intentional? I need to figure that out.

I'm going to address, and attempt to answer, each of these questions over the next week. The question then becomes: how do we become intentional and what does it look like?

As I ponder these questions, I leave you with a few:

Are you/your family intentional? What does it look like? In what parts of your life could you be more intentional?