Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm thankful for Twitter

Oddly enough, I'm thankful for Twitter.

In May of this year I created a Twitter account. I was reluctant to create one, but wanted to force myself to be thankful for something each day:

To tell the world what I am thankful for each day.

To change my thinking, even on days when I feel overwhelmed as a stay-at-home-mom with two two-year-olds. (They can seriously make you question your sanity on some days!)

Little did I know how powerful a little old Twitter account would become for me and changing my thinking.

Creating and using my
Twitter account has made a huge difference for me. It has forced a paradigm shift. It forces me to think about and find things I am thankful for each day - even on really bad days. Like the day my father died. His funeral. When another friends newborn son died. When another mom's 4 month old daughter died. Instead of being overwhelmed by the sadness and grief, it made me view the experiences a little differently.

Allowing me to look deep and find things I am thankful for, when I feel overwhelmed by life, sadness and loss. So many of my friends and family have had a difficult year this year, often enduring unimaginable pain and heartache. It has certainly been a year full of trials for me personally.

I wrote the previous post back in June 2010. It is now November. I'm not sure what happened to the time between June and November, it is all pretty much a blur for me. It has been eventful to say the least. Here is our last 6 months in a nutshell:

  • Two weeks after the June post was written I received news that another friend's newborn son had died, two weeks before his due date.
  • Two weeks later, our home flooded. Big time. As in, tear out drywall and flooring and deal with contractors flooded.
  • A week after the flood, we received word that my father was terminal - and had days to live.
  • A week after that call, my Dad died. We were out of state for about 6 weeks taking care of my mom and the unfortunate logistics of death & notifications.
  • Two weeks after returning home we found out that our precious and perfect (in every way) son has some developmental delays and began the process of getting him some early intervention services.
  • That same week, we learned that my husband may be getting Orders to relocate soon. (We're a military family.) The "limbo" feeling begins:Will we have to sell our house in this market? Where will we go? Will our son's early intervention services be available there? Where will we go? Etc., etc., etc. Stress Level High!
  • A few weeks later, we learned that I need to have surgery. UGH. Who has time to be sick, especially with two two-year-olds?
  • The same week we learned that our son is "at risk" for an Autism Spectrum Disorder (That will be another post altogether.)

To say I have been and am feeling very overwhelmed is an understatement. I have pretty much been in a constant state of STRESSED OUT since June.

It makes me ask the same questions I think everyone asks with such chaos on in their lives:
  • Why? What purpose does this serve?
  • What else can go wrong/happen? (Not a great question to ask - because something can and will go wrong!)
  • Why all of this pain & suffering?
  • Why do bad things happen to good people?
  • When will things get better?
  • Why is the world off of it's axis?
This summer, I frequently found myself saying, "It feels like the world is off of it's axis."

Nothing feels right. Everything feels out of balance. Nothing is as it should be.

I don't understand why we are going through everything we are going through, but I maintain hope. And that hope allows peace. Part of that hope and peace is because even in the midst of our pain, we know God is going to use it to his glory, and even in the worst of it we are not alone. There is always something to be thankful for, even in the midst of the storm.

I always thought I was a thankful person. Even for the little things, but I realized something this summer:
How thankful are we when it hurts?

Share your thoughts and tell me: What are you thankful for?

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